Getting our Shit Together

I was reading an article recently on one woman's journey through the unexpected loss of her husband. The article hit me as it wasn't focused on the grief or sadness around her loss, but on how unprepared she was to deal with all the other stuff that happens after a loved one dies that you just don't think about, and how helpless and vulnerable she felt.  It raised the questions - if your loved one were to die tomorrow, would you be able to take control of their/your finances?  Do you know where all of your official documents are located?  Do you know the passwords to your loved ones bank accounts, investments, safes, social media accounts? Who would be the guardian of your children in the event BOTH you and your loved one were not able to care for them?  What are your loved ones wishes after they're gone?

After a minor freak out session as I found myself answering "no" to most of the questions the article presented, it got me thinking about how we can arrange our own affairs to ensure that things go smoothly in the event either of us were hit by a bus or similar.  At this point in my life, thinking about dying or losing B is just not something I can process, but I can try to prepare for the unexpected as much as possible, and take comfort in knowing if anything were to ever happen, we wouldn't put our family in a place of not knowing what to do, or what we would have wanted.   I would never wish for the logistics of B or I dying to take away from our loved ones ability to grieve, and the task has become ever more important now that we have kiddos.

There is a great website that the author of the article put together, rightfully called: getyourshittogether.org. The website provides a listing of documents you should discuss and complete as well as a checklist and examples of the documents I found to be really helpful.  Another useful link we used was from the WSJ.  Once Emma is officially born, I plan to share a copy of the documents with the executors we have selected and plan to review the documents on a regular basis to make sure they stay current.

It's not the most pleasant date night activity, and can be time consuming, but the mental relief it provides is well worth the effort and we owe it to our loved ones to be prepared.