And just like that, he's 1! Luke celebrated his first birthday with a fireman themed party surrounded by family and his best friends last Sunday. (More on that later.) All week, I've been processing how much our lives have changed in the last year. What was our life ever like without Luke? I can't even fathom it now. Since the first day I found out I was pregnant, I turned into a new person. The world was no longer about me, about what I wanted, but turned into what was best for my baby. I began focusing on eating better, became religious about getting rest and exercising and our clothing/entertainment budget quickly morphed into Luke's baby room redesign fund. Our world revolved around my pregnancy and preparing for Luke's arrival. B and I were ready.
I remember waking up early in the morning the day Luke was born having minor contractions and then my water breaking. B was still in bed and I remember calmly telling him my water broke and him springing from bed like it was on fire. He quickly started scrambling, throwing last minute items into our overnight bag when I told him to take a shower, eat some breakfast and hang out - I knew it was going to be a long day and we'd either be waiting at home or in the hospital.
We got to the hospital around 8:30am and there were no delivery rooms available. They had to admit me since my water broke, so I was placed in a "holding room" where they also stored a fax machine, filing cabinets and extra cleaning supplies. I stayed in the holding room for 4 hours without any drugs as the contractions started to get more frequent and painful. My sister Kate arrived at the hospital and I was instantly cheered up. They finally had a room available around 12:30pm and I welcomed the cleaner, more private space and the beautiful, wonderful epidural.
My mom and Becky arrived shortly thereafter, followed by B's parents and then we all waited. Around 6:30pm they called for the nurse and I started pushing. I remember B trying to be helpful telling me "come on honey, I know you can push harder," to which I smacked him in the stomach and told him he was done talking. I remember in the final stretch of pushing, one of the nurses telling me to stop and "hold it" so they could wait for the doctor. "Hold it?? #$%@#$*!" I had a few unpleasant words for the nurse and I think my mom communicated them brilliantly with her death stare. The doctor arrived and Luke was born. He was born purple and not breathing. I followed him with my eyes as they quickly took him over to the baby incubator with B right beside him, still no sound. It was seconds which felt like hours until I heard his sweet cry. I felt the tears fall down my face in response and when I held him for the first time, well, there are just no words.
I was finally a mom.
Happy birthday Luke! I love you to the moon and back.
